Does slow and steady win the race?

The baby race feels never ending...

When my daughter Wesley was born, my birth didn’t go exactly to plan, which from what I hear now, is pretty common. I never really had a solid birth plan per say, but I did have things I would of preferred not to do, a Caesarean for example. To be honest, I tried really hard to just be open to whatever needed to happen to get Wesley here safely.

Unfortunately, due to concerns and pressure from my OBGYN, I was eventually booked in to be induced at 39 weeks / 6 days. Prior to that all of the attempts to bring on labour naturally had failed. Which I know think may have been a sign that Wesley was not ready and probably would of gone over if left to her own devices. Once all hooked up to the induction juice, after about 6-7 hours of pretty intense contractions and labour, nothing was really happening, so my waters were broken in an attempt to get things moving. However, once this was done, Wesley‘s heartbeat became a bit erratic and hard to monitor, so we ended up having to do an emergency Caesarean. Turns out she had the cord wrapped around her neck, and then she was not really responding very well, so they checked into the special care ward where she stayed for four days. She had low blood sugar and was also given a blood culture which to be honest was the major delay in having her released from special care, as we had to wait for those results. They eventually came back all clear and overall, she came good quite quickly once I was able to feed her and spend time with her.

I guess looking back now I see this was an early sign of how Wesley's first year was going to go. From struggling to gain weight and being put on a formula and breast milk feeding plan, to having to redo her hearing tests a few times before being given the all clear, to issues with reflux that made tummy time painful for her, to being hospitalised for RSV, a UTI and eventually Covid, we really have had a pretty interesting first year! Bless her, Wesley remained such a happy baby throughout and was at least a pretty good sleeper, which I will take any day! However, due to these hiccups along the way, she became behind in reaching her developmental milestones. This has been a struggle for me, as I personally am the kind of person who often rushed to do things quickly, and always makes sure I keep up with everyone else. So having a child, who is just working at her own pace has been quite challenging.

The hardest part has been seeing my friends children who are younger than Wesley all reaching milestones well before her. I felt like she was being left behind. We have all seen that amazing Bluey episode about "The Baby Race", that episode hit me so personally as I am sure it did for many others. You cannot help but compare their progress to those around you, and if something is lagging behind, you can blame yourself or try to find the flaws in your parenting skills. As much as you remind yourself its not a race, and people tell you babies all do things in their own time, it can still be frustrating and disheartening.

Wesley is now 19 months old and only started walking in the last week! We have been seeing a physio and our Paediatrician has run blood tests to check for any genetic indicators that could be of a concern as my Grandfather had Muscular Dystrophy. This has been the hardest race, the walking. It has felt like the longest road with no finish line in site. I have constantly doubted myself, is it because I am a lazy parent, should I be doing more? The fear it may be due to possible muscle disease has had me losing sleep and blaming myself, for what? Having it in my genetic makeup?? I know that sounds crazy but your mind does go to these places. Although she is now walking, we do have to continue these tests and await the all clear. But what is the next milestone she may not reach in adequate time? When is this baby race going to be over already!

As mentioned before, throughout this whole time, Wesley has remained content, happy and clearly has no care in the world! It's us, the parents that hold all the stress. I guess we just worry that as she gets older, if she continues to do things at her own pace, society will start to hold her back or leave her behind because of it. I would hate for her to be made to stay back a grade in school and not move forward with her friends. Or be considered not adequate to do things that they can do so gets left out. You hope that at a certain point it all evens out to a level playing field right?

I suppose, at the end of each day, I need to remind myself what I would say to a friend if they were in this position. I would tell them that this "race" or "playing field" is make believe, it doesn't exist. That people, children and adults, all do things in their own time, in their own way. I can see that society is getting better at acknowledging this and as long as we, as her parents, stay in her corner to support and encourage her, she is going to be absolutely fine! Right?